On the night between the 12th and 13th of April 2020, I shaved my head. I started from the front, because I did not want to risk changing my mind. I never regretted this decision, and I do not miss having hair at all. I can grow it back whenever I want to.
Yes. This time it ‘s for real – not just a disguise, as some of you may have seen in my self portrait series “Silence”. Perhaps it was that series which made me realize I like how I look without hair. Or perhaps it was another recent series, “The Iron Mask” – the fact that I thought of building upon the mask which only covered the face until it covered the back of my head as well, but still – I was thinking about this for a very long time.
So first of all, I know this may be shocking to some of you. I did NOT, under any circumstances, do it for the shock, though I admit that I find reactions (especially shocked ones) highly amusing.
I think I’m beautiful no matter how my hair is cut (or shaved in this case). I am psychologically sound, and I had no sudden changes in my life which could have influenced me to take such a radical decision.
So, I did it for the following reasons:
I really wanted to shave (completely, there is NOTHING left) for a very long time but I didn’t find a good time for it. Those among you who know me well have seen numerous hints of this in my paintings. It would not be the first time when my art has manifested itself in my life.
I also did it because I want to experiment with a new area of self portraiture involving my head, with hair, that would have been utterly impossible.
I also did it out of curiosity. I am a curious person. Apparently I was really pleasantly surprised by the outcome. I REALLY enjoy it.
The experience is interesting because it triggered a psychological change as well. As I knew already, a physical change – especially a radical physical change – can trigger a huge psychological change. I am very grateful for the fact that I shaved my head.